Letting It All Go....Part Deux.

For the first time in a long time I have realised that I cannot recreate the past.
My friend and I went to high school together, were in the same class, dated boys that were friends, stayed in our relationships for a very long time, hers 4 years, mine 3 and a half years, we both did long distance, we both moved to Canada.
She lives in the east, I live in the west.
She called me today lamenting on her life there and how it has been hard to adjust to living out here and we both realised we've been trying to recreate how things were in the past.
We always had each other around to encourage, when things went wrong with school we were there to support mentally and physically, when things went wrong with the parents we would run to each other, go shopping together. When things went wrong with the boys, we would all get together and talk about it. He would call her or I would call him and we would try to help each other get by. We went to parties together, classes together, we had the same friends and we knew that the people around us were stable.
When we both moved, we both have tried to recreate that bond with other people in the present. But we have realised it's not possible, we cannot make the present the past.
We have both dated to abate loneliness.
We have both made friends with the wrong people.
We have only just realised........we are all we have.
I'm going out to visit, it's her birthday, 22, she needs me.

I've decided to let go of all the negative thoughts holding me back from living.
I've decided you know what Rome wasn't built in a day, the friendships will come, I need to stop expecting them to be like my old friends.
I need to stop expecting what I had before to delivered to me here and now.
I have to make myself happy because around here you have to rely on yourself.
You have to make things happen. You have to be strong enough to know whats good for you and not hold on to them as a way of fighting the loneliness.
You have to hold on to the values that you had, and yes I may not be able to recreate the past but I can enhance the present.