2 more weeks.

I can't believe March is almost over, Infact it's over, one more day and that's that.
Spring comes into play and play time comes into effect in exactly 10 days.
I can't wait for school to be done!
Mr Man and I got back together, I think the lesson I learnt is that he needs his space and needed to rejuvenate himself for the future or whatever may lay ahead.
He's buying me a car.
I'm not quite sure how we got into that scenario but it happened.
He's too proud to say he's back in my life and too proud to say he let the worst get the best of him but I know inside he means well.
I'm off to work, not too sure what i'm up to later but I know it won't be school work.
That's right i'm procrastinating even more.
You can call me super procrastinator.

They Say...

Believe and anything can happen.
I had a photography project to do and borrowed fifty million books on the subject for a paper I totally aced.
However I forgot to return some of the books and ended up with a $60 fine.
I mean sixty bucks for 4 books seems totally ridiculous, I may aswell have bought the damn books.
So of course i'm low on funds, low on everything with no extra cash to throw around to the damn library.
I'd been thinking about this and actually started getting stressed about it.
That was 3 weeks ago. Today I got a letter in the mail reminding me that I had this damn fine to pay.
Ugh.
So today after lying in bed with Mr Man, (another story for another day) I had to get out of bed and make my way to school.
Did that, had lunch with a friend who totally makes my day whenever I see him.
He's an artist, ghanaian, got afro kinky twists and is a force to be reckoned with.
He makes me smile, I wish I could meet him every morning for lunch.
So we discussed about life and about school and how much we hate both.
The unpredictable weather drives us mad and we generally just need to get away.
After that I spent the day trying, key word trying to help my friends mum get all organized. I've never had such a headache before caused by one person.
Bottom line she's crazy.
Bottom bottom line she gave me sixty bucks for wasting my time.

Bottom bottom bottom line.........The sixty bucks will pay for my fine.

Lesson learnt, Thou shall not worry but have all faith in the Lord.

I'm Back.

These days the sadness overwhelms me more than ever before.
The inability to get up and stay up is a problem that plagues me more and more each day.
I'm searching for something that I know I once owned but can't seem to find it within me.

When I was younger I had this strength that was greater than I could ever imagine.
There were times when things didnt work out or when I felt at my lowest but I fought the battle until I was happy.
The older I get, the harder it becomes to stay sane in this world that I find myself in.
Obviously things have changed from 6 years ago, like I said the struggle has gotten harder and everyday I wake up wishing I wouldn't.

I'm struggling inside to be this person that I don't know.
I can't guarantee that this person will be happy or this person will be successful.
I have no idea who she is and i'm very lost within.
My mind can't focus and each passing day is just like the last.
Another day gone by where nothing seems to make me feel better.
Where each day is like the same.
I cry sporadically without any reason.
It's like some kind of dark animal is fighting to come out of me.

I wish I knew what caused this but I can't seem to place my finger on it.
There are probably alot of issues that I need to discuss wih myself on this.
Whatever it is I have to get to the bottom of it.